Tuesday, February 28, 2006
giving up.
i cannot take it anymore.
seriously, i cant take it anymore.
i so feel like quitting nursing.
i reali don wish to continue anymore.
this is so not my cup of tea.
this is so not my type of job.
i never reali wanted nursing.
why did i choose this in the first place ?
but how to tel dad abt it.
i know he surely scold me like mad.
because initially i told him i wanted nursing.
but thats because i cant get into business school or stuffs.
the moment i have janna's number, im gonna msg her and ask her abt montessori.
went to Health promotion board today.
its was a freakin lame talk.
so feel like sleeping.
and then tht sister called us ( bhinisa, farhana anita, angelyn and me, the notorious grp)
wth.
siao.
anw, saw many kids today.
they are so freakin cute.
that is what i wan.
i wanna take care of kids.
i wanna be like those teacher.
guiding kids and all tht.
i wan that..!
i don wan nursing anymore.
thou at times, im happy with being a nurse.
but tht's because i think thats a fulfilling job.
but the thing is can i last tht long.
can i be tht patient till the day i retire as a nurse ?
can i ?
i don think so.
kids made my day.
no matter how noisy or mischevious they are, i can stil take it.
but i cant take it when i got to clean shit, bath patient and all tht.
i know when i pass out as SN i wont be doing those job but more on paper and higher skills stuff.
but being a nurse needs lots of knowledge because we are dealing with lives.
we need to be confident and sure of EVERYTHING we do.
but i cant do it.
not tht im not confident and not capable.
but is because i don wan to do what im supposed to do.
simply because I DON HAVE THE PASSION for nursing.
what can i do now ?
i reali wanna quit right at this fuckin moment.
i wanna do montessori teaching.
argh.
whats life man ?
i reali wanna do something tht i like.
but its too late.
im reali tired.
nursing is definitely NOT FOR ME.
its so freakin stress.
presentations and care plans.
WHAT THE FUCK ?!
sometimes i reali think whatever we are taught are stupid.
not reali stupid la but i don like it la.
2 more weeks plus plus of attachment.
and 2 more weeks plus plus of seeing her fucking cb face.
she fucking shit la.
some more wan us to do presentation on patients condition.
like WHAT THE FUCK ?!
other ppl also no need to do.
i know its good for us in a way tht we learn as we do.
but i think its too stressful.
stressful not to others but at least TO ME.
i jus feel like jumping down man.
and the freakin care plans.
walau eh.
i hate to do tht la.
can u imagine even being a nurse is not a easy job.
tell u, whoever look down on nurse can jolly well go to hell.
and i seriously mean GO TO HELL.
wanna condemn nurse, can but not in front of me.
if not u can reali knnb cb FUCK OFF.
so smart then u urself come and be nurse and try out for 1 FUCKING DAY.
i make sure u quit right at tht moment.
FUCK.
i know this is a very vulgar post.
but i jus wanna vent my anger.
i dono why am i so angry but i am.
the thought of attachment reali made me damn fucking pissed.
Who can even understand ?
m e s m e r i s e d 6:01 PM
