Thursday, December 27, 2007
1:19pm
jus reached home not long ago.
my grandma finally passed away jus now at 915pm.
finally im home.
i can finally cry out loud.
omg.
the grandma i've been living with my whole 20 yrs is gone.
she is gone.
most of my aunt were crying away.
my mom were sobbing away.
i looked at them and smiled.
i wanted to cry badly but i jus don wanna cry in front of so many ppl.
each time i feel like cryin, i turned away.
each time i look at her my tears jus wanna flow.
she is gone..
when i was told my grandma was dying from the third call, i dono wat was i doing ady.
my hands were shaking.
although a few times jus now i think its ok.
its better to go than to suffer.
she's 97.
she's ill and she cant do anything other than jus lying on the bed.
then i told myself, its good.
no more sufferings.
a way to console myself but its true also.
but, I MISS HER.
she looked soooo different jus now.
ngt, o2 source, ecg and everything was on her.
i felt so uneasy.
everyone was waitin for her heartbeat to go off.
everyone kept quiet.
everyone was prayin for her to go peacefully.
she held on until my uncle n dad came.
my uncle came last , and finally she went.....
cannot take it.
I WANNA HUG HER FOR THE LAST TIME.
i really really really miss you.
certain issues pissed me off at cgh jus now.
nvm, dear now u know how's my relative like right ?
i told you.
then everyone kept asking....
whr r u working now ?
how come stil studying ?
when graduating ?
FUCKING GIVE ME A BREAK.
i wanna dream of you tonight.
TALK TO ME.
funeral at hse downstairs until sunday.
Labels: my lovely grandma
m e s m e r i s e d 1:18 AM
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