Friday, May 23, 2008
8:10am friday.
i seriously wanna punch myself badly for not studying hard.
they had their grad ytd.
jus saw angel's frenster pic.
fuck !
i so wana wear formal and hold that NYP CERT la.
fuck !
i wanna punchhhhhh myself soooo badly.
if only i can turn back time.
shit.
i hate myself.
i hate myself.
fuck fuck fuck !
now i understand wat ah suan said.
the feeling of seeing ppl grad while im behind watching.
fuck the hell up.
nobody can understand ok.
i think i should apologise badly to my parents.
hell yea !
ahya don wanna talk abt this anymore.
do not tag, do not ask, do not TALK abt this issue to me.
hell !
anws...
its ANICIA'S BDAY.
happy 21st baby.
(:
went waiting last night until this morning 6am plus.
guessed tht woman enjoyed herself.
cake, bday song... drank alot.
actually i drank alot ytd but wasnt drunk.
limited myself too.
this stupid angmo kept asking me to drink beer.
wtf.
then this guy who knew how to read palm...
LOL
read mine.
he said... im not v healthy, wont live until v old.
one husband.
then he asked me to imagine myself in a desert w a cube, a ladder, a horse and storm.
the cube i imagined was my self esteem, not v low self esteem n not vegoistic.
then the ladder represent my frens which i said to b taller than the cube and is leaning against the cube.
which means to say i kinda place my frens above my self esteem or something like that.
then the horse..... is my dream guy.
i said the horse is damn far away, running ard.. LOL
and lastly the storm....
i told him the storm is all over the sky which he said i got alot of prob.
-_-
then he read my palm again.
he said a few r/s ... and a few very bumpy ones.
a few tht has probs.
haha, watever.
anw... aft waiting, went over to amber.
quarrelled w baby jus now.
he waited for me until i reach home.
i didnt tel him tht i was at amber.
anws, he was damn angry la.
i was sorta angry also.
suddenly i felt like ....... i jus need some air.
i dono.
then he said im damn sarcastic, said i damn guai lan..
but i think im at fault la.
i didnt think for him at all.
i knew tht he was sick.
i knew that he wil wait til i reach home.
but yet i jus chose not to msg him, not to inform him.
its my fault.
i didnt think why is he doing al these for.
and everything everything was bcos he cared.
and yet i took his care for granted and say him.
i dono la.
when i said im sorry, i am.
i feel my mind is in a mess.
like, i don wish to bother abt anything.
i feel like i don really like to report this n that.
ha.
then baby said if he's beside me, he'll give me a punch.
which, WHICH i doubt so la.
LOL
fuckin hot weather.
im sweating again.
hell !
when ur gone, the pieces of my heart are missing you.
when ur gone, the face i came to know is missing too.
i miss you.
do you see how much i need you right now ?
to waiting again tonight.
boat quay boat quay boat quay boat quay.
like my second home.
thats whr ppl w messy mind goes to.
but im sick of drinking already.
drink until DON WAN TO DRINK ANYMORE.
damn damn damn SICK OF DRINKING already.
baby's gonna get drunk tonight.
and im supposed to take care of him.
he wil make sure he get drunk.
he wanna drink until he vomit.
LOL
i wonder if i can take care of him not la.
he's like SO HEAVY and big.
LOL
baby, faster faster come out.
i need to see you.
need to see you need to see you.
when i see his face, i jus feel like smiling.
LOL
he loves me alot.
i love him.
m e s m e r i s e d 8:10 AM
